Anxiety

I've been really tense all day because of anxiety. I was waiting for a phone call from that job prospect all morning and afternoon, and I had a rough morning to boot.

First of all, my alarm didn't go off at 6:30 like it was supposed to (no idea why), so I woke up when I was supposed to leave for my fingerprinting appointment for my staffing agency. Luckily, I was able to just throw some clothes on and go, so I was able to arrive on time, but it was still an anxiety producing feeling. When I got there, their internet was down, which sent my anxiety soaring, because I had another appointment with my dietitian scheduled very close (within an hour) of this appointment about a half hour drive from the location. It didn't help that when they did the printing the first time, it failed sending through, so we had to do it again, too. Drove me crazy, but I remained polite and patient.

I darted out as soon as I could, though. Arrived on time for my dietitian appointment, too, though. I really don't know if I'm getting as much out of those appointments as I could. We make goals every week and I try to meet them, but honestly, I feel as though I could make these goals and meet them on my own. I think... Maybe not. Probably not. Who am I kidding? I need a dietitian... I just want to get rid of my appointments so that when I get a job, I won't be so badly hurt by the loss. I haven't tried to think about that's going to all work yet.

Anyway, when I got home after the appointments, I stayed so close to my phone, it hurt. It didn't ring until the afternoon. When it did, it was Dara from the job, but it wasn't an answer. She was calling to tell me that she would reach a decision by Wednesday and that I was a top candidate. She also mentioned that she was looking for someone to start November 29th or 30th, so after the holiday, but still pretty quickly. I'm feeling less confident, since they're still considering me against others... I'm pretty sure now that I won't get it. At least I'll have the staffing agency.

I applied for my unemployment today, too. They had me fill out a questionnaire about what I am doing about my job-search and wanted me to add MinnesotaWorks to my list of websites that I use for job searches. I've never used it, but I'm open looking through it. We'll see.

Bipolar Update

I hate Zyprexa. I'm convinced I'm gaining weight. That's all.