Fudgin' it

So, I still haven't managed to produce a morning where I do the Kriya and meditation. I always choose sleep. It's usually because I have a headache, or the night was restless and I really do need ("need") the extra hour, or etc. It's not that I always choose sleep; it's that I always have an excuse. I'm hoping, as I often do around this hour of the evening, that tomorrow I won't have one.

I think it's different today, because I'm thinking on an exercise that my therapist suggested. I'm thinking about this with too much of a black-and-white mentality. I've always been an all-or-nothing thinker, so it makes sense that my default would be to go right there. She said that instead of thinking about it as do it all or not do it (because an hour routine is a significant time commitment apparently), I should consider how to incrementally introduce it into my life. Now, at first I laugh at this. I'm not sure if I can break it off and do "five minutes" of the Kriya. It's kind of a package deal, but then I thought about something they taught in the Art of Living that said about doing what you can. Granted, I can do more than five minutes; that was an exaggeration, but maybe if I shorten it to maybe even a half an hour, it won't seem so daunting. That would be enough time for the Kriya and a much shortened meditation session. It would make me very sad, but at least it would be something. I'm still shooting for the whole package tomorrow with the willingness to bargain with myself down, instead of just ruling it out.

All that said, I haven't been Kriya-less lately. I have been doing it during my lunch break. That's right, I do the Kriya during my 1/2 hour break and eat at my desk at work. I don't get to meditate, but at least that's something. I do notice benefits. I'm able to stay in the present moment a lot more easily, which makes me more alert, pleasant and resilient to stressors. Personally, I'm thankful to have it back in my life. I'm excited to have Sahaj Samadhi on top of that, because I think that will be great, too.

I think I'll make this strictly about Kriya and meditation tonight. Not much else to report. Happy Winter Solstice!